Yer Girlfriend: Louisville’s Community Band

Yer Girlfriend was a Louisville-based, lesbian band active from 1989 to 1996, with reunion concerts as recently as 2015. They recorded three albums: “We Won’t Be Silent!” (1989), “L-word Spoken Here” (1992), and “Not Afraid to Love” (1995), all published by Esther Records. In 2015, Rose Norman interviewed the two founders of the band, Carol Kraemer and Laura Shine. Four songs by Carol Kraemer are posted online at Sinister Wisdom (sinisterwisdom.org/YerGirlfriend), and Sinister Wisdom uses one of them, “The L-Word,” to begin and end Zoom readings from each new issue of this quarterly journal of lesbian arts and literature.

Interview edited by Phyllis Free, January 2022,  from interview notes taken at the home of Carol Kraemer in Louisville, Kentucky, with Carol Kraemer and Laura Shine, by Rose Norman on Thursday, July 30, 2015.

LS: Much longer than she probably even wanted to. But, Carol, you were up for it. So, it’s still in 1988, and we started calling ourselves Yer Girlfriend.

CK: In 1988, it was just the two of us and Robin Mock.

[Robin Mock (congas) had joined the band in July 1988, and Kathy Weisbach (bass banjo, mandolin) joined in October, 1988.]

LS: We went out to Connie’s Cabin a lot, and Connie’s Cabin would end up being a really pivotal place for us. It was in Southern Indiana, an area called Georgetown. It was way back in the woods, a little bitty cabin that had only an outhouse. But it had some electricity and a 4-acre pond. A slice of paradise. It was like a mini-Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival every weekend and throughout the week even. People even stayed out there during the week.

Women came together and built a stage. Out there [that autumn of 1988] we met Phyllis Free and Kathy Weisbach. Kathy played banjo, and also bass and mandolin. Phyllis played drums. Phyllis told us she was new in town and that she had played for another band. What was it? Funky Swamp Band? It was a band that toured all over the country. She was a seasoned musician, a professional musician. We were not. Not yet. We were such rookies.

 [Phyllis Free had been performing and touring as a professional musician with various artists and  ensembles since the early 1970s with Atlanta-based, women’s bands and artists including The New ERA, Anima Rising, the Jan Riley Trio, Vicki Jones, Fonda Feingold, Rita Godfrey, and others, as well as “mainstream” ensembles such as The Nat Foster Trio, Kittyhawk, and Hilton Head Island, South Carolina ensembles including the Bill Barnwell Trio, Teri Rini & Friends, and the Truly Dangerous Swamp Band.]

CK: Before Phyllis came along, we had one gig at the Carriage House, and Joy Knopfmeier sat in on drums.

LS: I thought we were against having drums?

CK: We had drums. I don’t know how it happened, but I remember Joy playing. She didn’t play for long. Joy was a social worker out of southern Indiana.

LS: We were out at the cabin, it’s autumn, and it’s cold out on that screened porch. Phyllis sets up her drums, and Kathy had her bass, and we just started playing. We did Maxine Feldman’s “Amazon.” We did this really eerie, crazy version of it. And something magic happened right then, and we knew it. It felt great! That’s really when Yer Girlfriend started to come together. We could see where the future could go.

Robin played with us, Kathy, Phyllis, you [Carol], and me. We played several gigs at the Carriage House. It used to be a funeral home, and we played in what was the morgue or something?

CK: We played in the carriage house part of it, back when hearses had horses. [laughter]

LS: They converted it into a big lesbian bar, and we played there every other Sunday. We put up flyers all over town – and every other Sunday it was packed to the rafters, filled. There were lots of people hooking up, lots of people breaking up, lots of new relationships forming, lots of people dancing. Every other Sunday, it was an absolute party.

I forget how I met Martha (who soon used the stage name Patty O. Veranda). Martha would come to see us at the Carriage House. I thought she was really cute, and I had a big crush on her. I asked her, “Do you play anything?” And she said she used to play piano and flute, so I just invited her to join the band.

CK: She didn’t happen to mention this to us. This would be the beginning of a trend.

LS: We were at rehearsal and I said, “Martha Barnette is now coming to rehearsals,” and the band got upset and mad. “Don’t you think you should have asked us first?” Then she walked in, and by the time rehearsal was over, everybody was in love with her. She was so charming and funny, so talented, and ridiculously smart. She’s the author of several books. She now has a radio show out of San Diego, A Way with Words. It’s on hundreds of stations. She’s an etymologist. She also can speak Greek, French, Spanish, Portuguese, probably some German. Lord only knows what else.

Martha’s father was Henley Barnette, who was at the Southern Baptist Seminary here in Louisville, and he marched with Martin Luther King, Jr., when MLK Jr. came to town. They were friends. He was a real civil-rights activist in a very conservative place. Back then, the Southern Baptist Seminary was progressive. Not even close to what it is now. Martha comes from the Deep South. Her parents are from North Carolina. I remember her mom had the most beautiful Southern accent.

Martha ended up being a very important part of the band. She picked up keyboards. It was amazing. If you gave her a task that she couldn’t do, then, she’d take it home, and she could do it next time you saw her. She worked very hard, and on top of that, she is very, very silly.

CK: A kick to be on a road trip with.

LS: It’s in 1989 when Martha aka Patty comes into the band.

CK: Everybody else came in ’88.

LS:  In that year, the community helped us throw a huge fundraiser out at Connie’s Cabin (where it all began), and we had a mini-music festival. Everybody played music all day long and way into the night. They built a stage for us among the trees, a sort of treehouse stage. We raised enough funds to record our first album, about $2000. That album was called We Won’t Be Silent, recorded in a little studio called Studio 2002 in New Albany, in southern Indiana.

RN: Was it stressful making that album?

LS: No, it was a blast.

CK: It was a great experience. We were so excited. I was just blown away hearing my lyrics coming through the speakers in this arranged, produced way. Up to that time, we certainly had arrangements that we were performing, but recording is a whole other animal, with so many other facets and levels that changes the sound in a better way. I think it was for the better. It was a pretty amazing experience. We all really worked well together in that setting.

I don’t think there was a lot of stress at all. It created a situation where we realized that we’ve created this thing, now we’ve got to get out there to sell it. It gave us the impetus to figure out how we were going to get some more gigs, and to spread out our name a little bit more.

LS: It forced us to become a business. If you’re in a band, you’re in a business because you’re dealing with money: payment, taxes, sales tax, manufacturing your product, getting it out there, and marketing. We learned a lot that way. Kathy Weisbach, our bass player, was really great about keeping books [accounting and record-keeping].

CK: She ended up doing the majority of that.

LS: We ended up getting a van so that we could tour and carry all of our equipment.

CK: We bought equipment so that we didn’t have to rent it, such as our own sound board and so on. Kathy was also really talented with electronics. If we needed something, she would figure out how to patch it together. She built our “snake.” The snake is that big bunch of cords that you plug at the front of the stage, and that runs back to the sound board. Kathy had skills that made all the difference in terms of being able to professionalize to the extent that we did.

LS: We sold thousands of tapes and CDs over the years. Cassettes were the thing—and they are again! But they’re a pain in the ass for a DJ.

[Prior to the release of Yer Girlfriend’s first album, “We Won’t Be Silent,” Carol Kraemer, Laura Shine, Phyllis Free, Martha Barnette, and Kathy Weisbach entered into a formal partnership doing business as Esther Records. Later, when first, Kathy and then, Martha each decided to leave the band, Carol, Phyllis, and Laura bought out Kathy and Martha’s shares in Esther Records, Carol, Phyllis, and Laura continued as the remaining partners in Esther Records until its dissolution, Oct. 1997.]

RN: (to Laura) Do you want to go ahead and say something about being a DJ?

LS: What happened was that when we played at the public library, I was interviewed on WFPL (our NPR news station) for a show called “The Arts” or something. This guy was asking me about Yer Girlfriend, and at the end of it I told him I had an idea for doing a women’s radio show. He offered to help me make a demo or whatever. At rehearsal one night, I mentioned wanting to have women’s music show. Not that I wanted to do it so much as I wanted somebody to do it. Because there was one in eastern Kentucky called…

CK: Woman Sounds

LS: Yes, Woman Sounds, done by Karen Jones and Bev Futrell of Reel World String Band. Phyllis said, “Why don’t you do it?” And everybody said, “Why don’t you do it?” And my mind was on fire. I went into the public radio station downtown, wrote my idea on a napkin, and gave it to the general manager. He told me that if I was serious about it, “You’ve got to call me. I’m not going to call you. You’ve got to keep reminding me. You’ve got to make a demo, and make it sound professional.” And I did everything he said. I got a guy who said he would help me create a professional-sounding demo. I had a name for it, Womanwaves, and it debuted on August 2, 1992, WFPL 89.3 FM. I’m about to hit the 23^rd anniversary. I did Womanwaves for about five years, every Sunday, sometimes Saturdays. It moved around the schedule a little bit. It was very successful.

The station I worked at was going to form a new station, an all-music station. WFPL was going to be all news, WFPK was going to be all music, and WUOL was going to be all classical music. We were going to be three radio stations under one roof, called the Public Radio Partnership. They asked me to be the “morning drive” host for the music station, WFPK. On January 8, 1996, at 6 am, we went from Mozart to Timbuk 3, “the future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.” And that became my career. This was a whole other thing beyond Womanwaves. I’m still a DJ, assistant program director at WFPK, and also the afternoon, drive-time host. I also host a live music program called Live Lunch, where I interview tons and tons of artists. I’m completely steeped in music. That’s exactly where I want to be. It’s a good thing.

CK: And you’re the favorite DJ there over and over again.

LS: It’s an honor! I love it, and I’m out, and I pretty much always have been. That feels very validating.

CK: Out as a public person.

LS: Yeah. I’ve had a few homophobic remarks over the years, but nothing that bad.

RN: How hard is it to make a living with a band, and not to quit your day job?

LS: We did it because it was fun, and it was our passion. We all had such a strong passion for music and for playing music. For Carol in particular, it was an outlet for her politics, a creative outlet to be political. It was a way to fuse creativity with politics. We got the benefits of that because Carol was such a strong songwriter. We would all pitch in a little bit. She’d bring songs to the band, and we’d discuss them, and talk about the [music] arrangement. Maybe Martha might talk about it with Carol on a more intellectual level. Then, we would get a song done and present it to the community. For the community, it would become an anthem, or something that was really, really meaningful. We’re all in this struggle together. That’s how Your Girlfriend kind of became a mouthpiece for the community.

And it didn’t just have major, political ramifications. It had major, personal ramifications. We used to get told over and over again, “I’m so glad I had your tape with me. I had to drive all the way home to (for example) Birmingham, and I couldn’t be myself with my family, which that was really stressful. Your tape is what got me there and got me back. I listened to it over and over again.” We heard those kinds of stories all the time. Our music was affirming to people’s relationships, to their loves, to their political beliefs, to stay strong in a very homophobic world. That’s what Yer Girlfriend was there for.

That’s what we did. When we played, we created community. We created a safe place for people to come and to be themselves, and to have fun, and to dance, and to love and laugh and be silly. All those things. Our band always felt to me more like an act of social work rather than going out there to get a bunch of praise. It was like a service to the community, a sermon for the community. It was a place to gather. It had a kind of “church” feel to it though there was nothing religious about it. Just religious in practice. It was really a special, special thing. We felt owned by the community. The community knew we were their band. They would follow us everywhere, even to the March on Washington, or New York, or South Carolina. Just about everywhere we played. Any festival we played, at least somebody came, but usually an entourage would come to support us and be a part of that vibe.

RN: You mentioned that you played gay bars, but also straight bars, and they liked having you play.

LS: We’d bring in a huge crowd, for one thing. We’d pack their bars. And we had a really nice audience. Bartenders got treated well, and the bar owners were thrilled that they didn’t have a bunch of rowdy dudes making trouble. For some, initially, it might be a little scary seeing their bar turn into a gay bar for the night. But they would ask us back!

CK: I noticed in that Louisville Music News article [September 1994] that the writer said, “I think anyone who has the guts to attend a Yer Girlfriend performance at a place like Uncle Pleasant’s… you’ll hear some good music,” and goes on to talk about the music. The quote ends, “You would benefit greatly (from a moral/political standpoint), and see many of the myths that bound the lesbian community quietly, almost charmingly, put to death.” Did the bar owners have the guts, first of all? In most cases, they did, the places that we went: Uncle Pleasant’s, Cherokee Blues Club, that place in Bard’s Town, Cahoots [same as Cherokee Blues Club], and the Rud (Rudyard Kipling).

RN: (to Carol) You mentioned earlier that a local news story outed you to your parents?

CK: The Courier Journal was reviewing our first album, We Won’t be Silent!, in the Saturday entertainment section, The Scene. Although I had been back in Louisville since 1987, I had come out as a lesbian while I was away at college in 1980 or ‘81. When I came back to Louisville in 1987, I got involved with the March for Justice and the Greater Louisville Human Rights Campaign, an early LGBT political organization that was pre-Fairness Campaign. But I hadn’t actually had the conversation with my family.

I knew this review was coming out in The Scene. My family didn’t even know I was in the band at that point, and we had been playing music together two years by then. I remember one time, I had been at my parents 40^th wedding anniversary party in a dress and hose, this terrible get-up, and I had to leave there early to get to a music gig in time, changing clothes in the parking lot. It was that kind of thing. So, I talked to them, and let them know this review was going to be coming out, and so was I.

RN: So, your parents’ 40^th anniversary party and your first album were the same year?

CK: Yes.

LS: Just for the record, I want to say our music wasn’t all political. Our love songs were to other women, but it was important to me and to the band to have a political side, and to have a really silly, fun side that wasn’t all about politics. I tended to write love songs, and Carol tended to write political rock (although she has written some gorgeous love songs, too). I did write one political song, “Get Over It,” on our Not Afraid to Love album. It was a pseudo rap song about different scenarios where people would get uptight about being gay or homophobic, and how you have to just get over it.

CK: We came up against our own internalized homophobia when we did road trips. We’d be in small towns, and it didn’t even matter if we were in the South (and we were mostly in the Southeast). We also went to Milwaukee and Chicago. I had huge internalized homophobia and fear, like, worrying if we will get kicked out of this Cracker Barrel [restaurant chain found along the Interstate Highways] because people are being too out? Do we look too dykey? For me, it was part of my own personal process of figuring that out. I had a lot of fear in those moments of thinking whether it would be okay for the five, six, seven, or eight of us fairly dykey-looking women to go in to eat.

LS: Here you are writing these out and proud songs, when inside, you were absolutely torn apart. It was to overcome your own prejudices and fears.

CK: It came from a very personal place.

RN: (to Carol) When did you write “Peace and Harmony,” the song you ended every concert with?

LS: It’s on our first album, We Won’t Be Silent!

CK: When I first came back to Louisville [in 1987] from college [in Lexington], I lived in an apartment right across from where I live now. I wrote “Peace and Harmony” there. I had come out away from home, in Bowling Green, where we were completely closeted. I was newly out and didn’t know what to do. In graduate school in Lexington, I was involved with some women’s and LGBT stuff, and I was out there. I had been introduced to women’s music in high school. One of my teachers at an all-girls, Catholic high school had played a Meg Christian recording in a women’s studies class. That teacher wasn’t completely out, but everybody sort of “knew.” (She was partnered with one of the River City Wimmin band members.) I always remembered that song, even though I wasn’t out yet at the time.

After I came out, I came home one weekend, and I went to Carmichael’s, an independent bookstore. They had some women’s music albums, and I found a Meg Christian album, which I bought. It had an order form for other Olivia Records [a woman’s music record label started in 1973]. I ordered lots more records, and they came in a plain, white cardboard box, where I kept them stored (there was no way to know who my roommate would be). Women’s music for me was life-saving in a place like Bowling Green, Kentucky. Coming out and not knowing that many other lesbians at the time… then, to get to a women’s music festival where some of these folks [of the Olivia Records label] were playing! The first one I went to was Sisterfire in Washington, D.C. Sweet Honey in the Rock was there, Teresa Trull, Reel World String Band. It was my last year of college, 1984. It was the most phenomenal thing I’d ever heard.

I was probably working on “Peace and Harmony” in 1987 or ‘88. I was working at the Senior Center while trying to find community. I think I was always a person who supported women’s rights. In the seventh grade, we held a little protest because they fired one of the nuns. “Peace and Harmony” was really just… I don’t really remember how the idea came to me.

Usually a phrase comes to me, and I build a song around it. It was one of those times when I was feeling there was so much wrong with this world, and wondering what are we going to do to make that different. I think we all have those thoughts about changing things that we don’t like about the world, environmental stuff, women’s abuse… wherever you enter, whatever experiences you’ve had. I think I was just having a sense that there was a lot wrong, and I was trying to figure out how to plug into that. I played guitar, and I had written a few songs by then. And I had my Ferron albums, and Cris Williamson albums, and Meg Christian albums; and they were great inspiration for the kinds of songs I wanted to write.

And the March for Justice work, and then, the Fairness Campaign (starting in 1991) were the inspiration for the music that I wrote. It was like a circle for me. There were things going on in the community, and I wanted to reflect on it and to support it. The way that I could do it was by writing music. I also wanted to bring music to the band. These people were very talented, and we always needed material. It was a beautiful cycle in that way. I remember that Carla Wallace, in her article about the Fairness Campaign (in Sinister Wisdom 93), describes us as being the soundtrack for the Fairness Campaign. I think I felt a responsibility to that, and the band was on board with that, too.

LS: My finding of women’s music led to the band. My first girlfriend was when I was a senior in high school (1981 to ‘82). We fell madly in love. We went to her house, and we got into her mom’s personal things. I found out that her mom was a lesbian for a moment of time. She dated a woman who was in a Louisville band call River City Wimmin. They were kind of a precursor to Yer Girlfriend. I was so inspired by them. We saw lots of pictures of women looking like they were having a blast together. They did their own little mini-festivals, they brought out community at Mother’s Brew [a lesbian bar], very similar to what we were doing. That’s a whole other wave of lesbian history that preceded us. I got a glimpse of this world that I knew nothing about. Her mom also had all these albums by Holly Near, Meg Christian, Cris Williamson. We played those records over and over again. It’s really empowering, and it brought me out in a lot of ways. That was something I wanted to do, play women’s music.

Yer Girlfriend would make three albums total. We Won’t Be Silent! was the first, “the pink one,” as everybody calls it. The second was L-Word Spoken Here, which has a song called “L-Word,” which says the word lesbian 72 times, which helped me become desensitized to that word. I remember hating the word lesbian. I had negative associations with the word. If you say it enough, it takes the negative power out of it. That song became a hit. People loved it. They still request it to this day. We were the same band for those two albums: Kathy, Phyllis, Laura, Carol, and Martha.

We started going through some personnel changes after that. We toured after that, and Kathy decided she couldn’t do it any longer. It was becoming not fun for her. Martha was also getting restless, and she wanted to focus on writing. The band was requiring more of a commitment than some of us were feeling at the time. Kathy and Martha left the band in the middle of 1993.

CK: I think that’s fair. That’s definitely what was happening.

LS:  And we weren’t sure what we would do. It was a pretty big loss. Then we met Liz Welsh, who played bass and guitar, and Cynthia “Cindy” Campbell, who played piano and flute.

CK: She [Cynthia] had been part of the group Tendre, and we double-billed with them years before.

LS: We reformed, and we had this new thing. We were still playing a lot of our old songs, but they were bringing their music in. The chemistry was never quite the same. But you know, we were still performing for the community, playing out and all that. Remember we went to the Hopscotch House, at the Kentucky Foundation for Women (Sallie Bingham’s foundation).

CK: We were preparing for the third recording, putting together arrangements of the newer stuff that we hadn’t performed that much together. By that point, too, Cindy brought a piece or two. Liz brought a piece.

LS: Liz brought her girlfriend into the band, Lisa Cates, and she played percussion stuff. And then we recorded Not Afraid to Love. Sigh. Then we started having some pretty bad tensions in the band. I broke up with my girlfriend, who was Carol’s best friend, Angie. That put a strain between me and Carol. Phyllis wasn’t feeling very good about this new drummer [Lisa Cates], and the new drummer wasn’t feeling good about Phyllis.

CK: They didn’t mesh at all.

[From a different point of view, Phyllis Free adds that the above statements regarding her feelings about working with drummer Lisa Cates, a musician she continues to regard with professional respect, misrepresent the nature and source of her discontent. She says that the tensions and dissatisfaction she was experiencing at the time were instead fueled by other conflicting interests and factors at play. She attributes her eventual departure from the band, and the ultimate demise of Yer Girlfriend/Esther Records, to an irreconcilable “rift and shift” in group dynamics, which she agrees are accurately detailed in Carol and Laura’s statements that follow.]

LS: We just started having personality clashes and problems.

CK: Liz was a much more technically talented guitarist than I was, and she was also a singer. It started creating the sense that there wasn’t space for all of us. All of the personalities were too big. That was it more than anything. I do think that if there’s any truth to anything about day jobs, Liz probably wanted us to go in a more mainstream way, so that we might hit it big; we couldn’t do that playing the kinds of songs that we played. I might have made that up, but I felt like that was part of what was going on. And that wasn’t what I was interested in doing. Little by little, things started falling apart.

LS: Not feeling good. We kind of got away from our whole mission of being a community band. Even if we weren’t that good technically, the heart of it was what mattered the most. And we were getting better technically, but our goal wasn’t to be technically great. Our goal was to be servants to the community, and we were losing sight of it. Also, my career in radio was really taking off, and I was focused on that.

After we split, I formed a band with Liz and Lisa for about a year, called Miss Jane. We never recorded together or anything.

RN: Where did you get the name, Yer Girlfriend?

LS: At the time it was very popular to call each other “girlfriend.”

CK: At first, we were thinking of using “Your Girlfriend.” I know we brainstormed names. Maybe it’s in one of your scrapbooks. I know we ended up with “Yer” because we thought it sounded more Kentucky style.

LS: Then the name became really fun. Somebody would say, “I’m going to see Your Girlfriend,” and they’d answer, “How did you know I had a girlfriend?” We had a lot of fun with miscommunication like that. Then we did something with the song “Your Boyfriend’s Back,” changing it to “Your Girlfriend’s Back.” “Girl” was big then, like 2 Nice Girls, Girls in the Nose. It was big, reclaiming “girl.”

So that’s the story. We’ve had a few reunion concerts since then. Most recently at The Planet.

CK: They’re not really a lesbian bar, though mostly lesbians are going there. The owners are a lesbian couple, and one of them was in River City Wimmin, Marge Van Gelder. Laura and I had talked about doing some music together, and we scheduled that at The Planet in June of this year [June 13, 2015]. Phyllis saw it on Facebook, and she asked if she could sit in. And then, Martha was going to be in town, and it turned into the four of us. Kathy lives here but was not able to join us. It’s kind of a small space, so we couldn’t do our full set-up anyway.

LS:  We had a blast. People came out in droves. They’ve asked us to come back in December.

CK: Since our last gig in 1996, when I went to work for the Fairness Campaign, the Fairness ordinance passed in 1999 [non-discrimination against GLBTQ]. People couldn’t imagine a victory party without Yer Girlfriend. Thus, we came back together and did a victory party concert at The Connection, a large gay bar in town. In 2004, we did a gig at the Alternative when I left Fairness. The next time might have been my 50^th birthday thing at Uncle Slayton’s in 2012. When we’ve done reunion gigs, it’s always gone back to the original group, Martha, me, Laura, Phyllis, and Kathy.

LS: We never re-formed with the others. There were too many hard feelings.

CK: I think there was also something about how the original five of us played together for so long. It was pretty easy for us to sit down and pick up a song we had played together so many, many times. The adage about riding a bike holds true there.

LS: It just sounds like we never ended.

CK: That’s been really great to be able to do that.

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Yer Girlfriend Timeline

(Transcribed, slightly edited, from handwritten timeline in Laura Shine’s band albums.)

1988

May 22, 1988, Carol and Laura’s first meeting and rehearsal as the CLD [Carol, Laura, Daina] Club, for the Comm-Tenn performance, along with Daina Selter.

July 16, 1988, debut performance of the CLD Club, at the Comm-Tenn Center, attended by 100 people. Robin Mock joins the trio as conga player. She will stay with the band consistently until May 1989.

September, 1988, CLD’s second and last performance, appearing together at the Carriage House for Louisville Sports Alliance benefit. Daina drops out. No more CLD Club.

October, 1988, Carol and Laura ask Ken, manager of the Carriage House, for a regular gig every other Sunday. He agrees to pay them $90/month for two shows, to cover rental costs [for renting sound equipment]. They play for tips.

Kathy Weisbach, bassist, offers her basement as a studio for Carol and Laura, and wants to play along with them. They recruit Kathy to be a member of the no-name band.

October 23, 1988, Yer Girlfriend debuts at the Carriage House, and a tradition is born.

November, 1988, guest drummer Joy Knopfmeier sits in and gives Yer Girlfriend a desired sound. Carol and Laura soon meet a new girl in town, from Folkston, Georgia, named Phyllis Free. She is a very experienced musician and drummer, and the girls invite her to play at a jam session at Connie’s Cabin. “Amazon” is the result.

December, 1988, Phyllis Free comes out to play and agrees to a noncommittal relationship to the band. She debuts with Yer Girlfriend at the Carriage House and is an instant hit.

[Looks like Robin Mock was also still in the band when Phyllis and Kathy came in, so there would have been five in the band at this December Carriage House gig, then six when Martha joined in the spring, so six played at SWMCF in May 1989.]

1989

January, 1989, two regular performances at the Carriage House, still playing for tips and not making much at all.

February 10, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays for University of Kentucky’s GLSO (Gay and Lesbian Services Organization) Valentine Dance. This is in Lexington, KY, and is the band’s first gig outside of Louisville. Incredible turnout. The band’s repertoire has expanded to include danceable, upbeat music.

February 19, 1989, at a regular Carriage House gig, Laura meets Martha Barnette and develops a crush on her. Martha is a closet flutist, and Laura invites her to play with the band (without asking anyone in the band).

March 4, 1989, Laura and Carol perform as a duo called the L.C. Connection for International Women’s Day at the University of Louisville. Kathy, Martha, and guest percussionist Ocea join in on the gig. This is Martha’s debut performance with the band, and she is definitely the treasure in the grab bag.

March 5 and 19, 1989, Yer Girlfriend is now a six-piece band: Carol, Laura, Robin, Kathy, Phyllis, and Patti/Martha, with a sound person named Janet Frank. Janet does the job for free, but Yer Girlfriend now charges $2 per person. Cathy Lester is the loyal doorperson, also a volunteer.

April, 1989, Yer Girlfriend saves most of what they make at Carriage House, with the goal of getting on Day Stage at the Southern Women’s Music & Comedy Festival in Georgia.

May 1, 1989, Yer Girlfriend makes $250 playing the May Day Celebration at the University of Louisville. About 15-20 people show up to support the band.

May, 1989, crowds at the Carriage House are swelling, incredible community support. Fans give them a big, bon voyage as they take off to play the Southern Women’s Music & Comedy Festival (SWMCF).

May 26, 1989, Yer Girlfriend’s SWMCF gig starts at 3 pm. By 3:20, they have filled up the pavilion, which has been practically empty all day. Yer Girlfriend is a hit!

Day stage at Southern Women’s Music & Comedy Festival, 1989

May 28, 1989, still at the festival, SWMCF producer Robin Tyler invites Yer Girlfriend to play Main Stage the next day. They are the closing act for the day, and do so well that they are invited back to Main Stage for the next year. This is Robin Mock’s last performance with the band. Phyllis Free is now committed to the band.

June 4, 1989, Yer Girlfriend returns home to a warm welcome at the Carriage House. Phyllis misses the gig, and it’s an experimentation night for the band and guests.

June 17, 1989, Yer Girlfriend rounds up some unsuspecting fans and heads down to Round Hill, KY, for the Mammoth Women’s Music Festival [see flyer], the first and last of its kind. Only 30 people show up for the disastrous event. Yer Girlfriend makes $18 each. It’s a “daymare,” but a learning experience they never forget. Actually, it was kind of fun, too.

June 18, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays Pride Week Picnic at the Water Tower.

June 24, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays the March Rally at Central Park. Later that day, they head to Connie’s Cabin for a Summer Solstice Party and have open jam into the night.

The benefit is to raise money for Yer Girlfriend’s first recording. They charge $10 per person. They also sell t-shirts with a new logo designed by Ginny. 150 people show up for the event, and they raise $1900. It’s a great party!

September, 1989, Carriage House gigs as usual, but lots of planning for the album is going on. November 14 is the target date to record.

September 17, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays for Dare to Care Festival at the Water Tower. Terrible gig! Also, this weekend is their first recording session at 2002 Studio (New Albany, IN). They record “Waiting,” “Peace and Harmony,” “Full Moon,” “We Won’t Be Silent,” and “Not Somebody’s Wife.”

September 19, 1989, Kelly and Vicki’s party gig.

October, 1989, Patty O. Veranda submits a grant proposal for purchase of sound equipment and to cover transportation (and other things needed to develop the band), through the Kentucky Foundation for Women.

October 1, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays Lexington again, and they have the honor of opening for Lucie Blue Tremblay [see flyer].

October 13, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays Theatre Square on 4^th St., for Run Jane Run (a 5K run that ended at Theatre Square).

October 14, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays at the Connections for Women Church.

October 20, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays for Gay Games benefit dance.

November 8, 1989, Yer Girlfriend plays Give Peace a Dance.

December 2-3, 1989, Yer Girlfriend completes the recording of ten original songs by Carol and Laura.

December 23, 1989, the tape is ready for release and sale, We Won’t Be Silent! Deb Clem designs the cover and does the art work for free. The opening party is held at the Market Place.

December 31, 1989, Yer Girlfriend says goodbye to the 1980s, and rocks the Carriage House with a New Year’s Eve party to remember. Free champagne is served at midnight. The band makes $700 from the cover charge.

1990

January 2, 1990, The Kentucky Foundation for Women awards them $7,438.12 in grant money. Kathy (the bookkeeper, accountant, manager, and bass player) and Janet (sound person) go to Music Warehouse and purchase sound equipment. No more renting.

January, 1990, Yer Girlfriend goes back into the studio and records the chorus of “Peace and Harmony” in Russian to send to the U.S./Soviet Citizen’s Summit in Moscow, taken by a friend of Phyllis’s named JoAnn Canon. Reports have said that it that it was played on Radio Moscow.

February, 1990, regular gigs at the Carriage House. The band signs a contract for SWMCF, which they later regret because of “unsisterly” clauses. [Apparently, it had language about not playing at Rhythmfest, which had its first festival that year, over Labor Day weekend, months after the Memorial Day weekend of SWMCF. Robin Tyler threatened to sue the band if they played for Rhythmfest. After that, the band never played another SWMCF.]

March 3, 1990, Yer Girlfriend plays the second annual International Women’s Day at the University of Louisville, and they had a blast.

March 1990, Yer Girlfriend is reviewed by Dallas Embry in the Louisville Music News, and it is very complimentary. Ladyslipper originally ordered 20 copies of the album, but boosts their order to 60 tapes. Yer Girlfriend confirms gigs for Spring Tour to play Charleston and Columbia, SC. They are also invited to be on the public radio show Homefront, and are invited to Nashville.

April 7, 1990, Yer Girlfriend plays at a Unitarian Church in Nashville. It was a benefit for a woman-owned bookstore.

April 13, 1990, Friday night at the Carriage House. Did great!

April 14, 1990, Homefront concert. Yer Girlfriend performs along with Jan Marra. Some say it was the best concert yet. It was recorded for radio airplay someday. Yer Girlfriend gets a flattering review in the Scene the following Saturday (they misspell Laura’s name).

April 20, 1990, GLSO coffeehouse in Lexington. Full house and great performance.

April 22, 1990, smallest crowd ever at the Carriage House, maybe because it was Earth Day? Only made $120 at the door.

May 4, 1990, Derby Eve at the Carriage House. Record crowd!

May 11, 1990, Kathy Weisbach’s birthday gig at the Carriage House. Band gives her twelve packs of toilet paper and coffee. Friends decorate the stage with streamers and balloons. Crowd gets a little out of control and puts themselves on stage causing much anxiety. Weird night.

May 13, 1990, Perform at Unitarian Church service about homophobia. Record sellout of tapes to mostly straight people and children. Lots of fun.

May 19, 1990, Yer Girlfriend performs in Charleston, SC, at Frannie’s to a redneck crowd. First gig of tour.

May 20, 1990, Yer Girlfriend performs at Traxx in Columbia, SC, and it’s a great gig. Benefits the first march on South Carolina for Gay Pride Week.

May 25, 1990, Yer Girlfriend takes Southern Women’s Music & Comedy Festival by storm, but they are not allowed an encore. It’s a Thursday night, 10 pm performance, marked “Dance.” Dianne Davidson played Friday night at 10. Sensible Pumps played the Saturday night 10 pm dance. Major disappointment. Makes lots of great connections and does first two interviews. The band is now in demand.

June 1, 1990, Carriage House gig, possibly the best since Market Place has been sold.

June 16, 1990, Southern Indiana Womyn’s Music Festival, second annual. Yer Girlfriend provides sound and is paid for performance. Benefits Gay Games.

June 24, 1990, Pride Picnic at the Water Tower. Hundreds of gay men and lesbians join hands for “Peace and Harmony.” Carol is approached by a drag queen who wants to lip sync “The Ballet of Kevin.”

June 30, 1990, Pride March for Justice rally, pre-March. Yer Girlfriend performs along with Sue Massek, of Reel World String Band. Average Life in Central Park.

July 8, 1990, National Public Radio and WFPL air Homefront concert featuring Yer Girlfriend and Jan Marra. Aired 1:00 pm. The band has a party at Kathy’s house to celebrate! Alas, the sound is awful. The mix is totally screwed.

July 19, 1990, in the Reader’s Forum of the Louisville Courier Journal, Laura’s angry and passionate response to the poor coverage of the 4^th March for Justice is finally published. Ends with “We Won’t Be Silent!”

July 27, 28, 29, 1990, Spin the Spiral: Healing Incest, production by Phyllis Free at the MEX Theatre, Kentucky Center for the Arts. Carol and Laura perform three songs for opening act. Sponsored by Kentucky Foundation for Women and Artswatch.

August 6, 1990, Laura and Carol perform for Nagasaki Day in Cherokee Park.

August 11, 1990, Yer Girlfriend performs at the new Lexington Women’s Bar, the Metro.

August 17, 1990, Yer Girlfriend returns to Nashville. Dud concert.

August 25, 1990, Lady Liberty Productions (Ricki & Maureen) produces Yer Girlfriend at the Unitarian Church. Good turnout.

August 31, 1990, Yer Girlfriend performs Main Stage at the newest women’s music festival, Rhythmfest, along with big names such as Melissa Etheridge! See scanned schedule of the night stage. Yer Girlfriend followed Reel World String band on Friday night, 10:30. Melissa Etheridge played Saturday night at 9:30.

September 8, 1990, KFFW hires Yer Girlfriend for Film Festival at the Kentucky Theatre to play a forty-five-minute set for $400.

September 13, 1990, Yer Girlfriend leaves early for Florida Tour, heading first for Key West, FL. They arrive on the September 14, play September 15 for Women’s Week in Paradise in the Conch Room at the Casa Marino Hotel on the ocean. See scanned brochure about the “Women in Paradise gig,” from Phyllis Free archive.

September 16, 1990, Janet, the sound person, quits the band, and it is a mutual separation. She has decided to stay in Key West, FL.

September 20, 1990, Yer Girlfriend plays Fort Lauderdale, FL, where they see Tina from the old Carriage House days. Okay gig but scuzzy accommodations. Angie Mattingly’s first gig as sound person, and she does better than Janet ever did.

September 21, 1990, Yer Girlfriend plays at the Carl Enoch Center in St. Petersburg, FL. Acoustics and turnout not so good, but nice accommodations provided by Katy Wildsister.

September 22, 1990, Yer Girlfriend plays Gainesville, FL. Finest gig on the whole tour, and also the last. The band is very well received and sells lots of tapes. They get three standing ovations, including after the first set. The only negative thing was that Janet showed up and screwed over the sound for the first set. She is let go immediately! Second set sounds great, thanks to Angie once again.

October 6, 1990, debut performance at The Blue Moon [in Louisville]. Packed the house and made $840 at the door. First gig with Sheila on sound.

October 12, 1990, open for Lucie Blue Tremblay at The Metro. Lucie called it the “gig from hell.” For the band, it was quite successful and a good time. The Metro extends the band an open invitation to play any time we want.

October 27, 1990, open for Lucie Blue again in Cincinnati, OH. Hope it’s a gig from heaven. We’re a hit! Made $400 for a 45-minute set!

November 3, 1990, perform at The Metro in Lexington, KY. A successful gig.

November 10, 1990, back home again at the Blue Moon [in Louisville], and it sure feels good! Sellout performance. All unwanted ex-lovers make their appearance.

November 16, 1990, Lexington’s Coffee House at the U.F.O. Church.

November 17, 1990, Carol and Laura perform at Artswatch, opening for Elise Witt, who is from Atlanta.

November 24, 1990, benefit for Maree Ecrevan at the Blue Moon. Carol and Laura perform.

December 2, 1990, play in Columbia, SC, at Traxx again. Very successful gig and lots of fun. Take the rest of the month off to rest and rejuvenate.

December 31, 1990, Yer Girlfriend performs to sellout crowd at the Blue Moon for New Year’s Eve.

1991

January 11-12, 1991, two-nighter performances at The Metro.

January 25, 1991, Yer Girlfriend performs at smokers’ night at the Blue Moon (cough!).

January 26, 1991, Indigo Girls play in Louisville. The band attends.

January 27, 1991, Yer Girlfriend performs at non-smokers’ night at the Blue Moon (breathe!).

February 9-10, 1991, smokers and non-smokers’ nights at the Blue Moon.

February 12, 1991, Laura quits smoking.

February 16, 1991, Yer Girlfriend performs in Asheville, North Carolina. Great response and lots of fun. Great food, too!

February 23, 1991, Yer Girlfriend’s first heterosexual bar experience at Uncle Pleasant’s.

February 25, 1991, Laura Shine buys her first car. Road Trip!

March 1991, Phyllis Free comes up with brilliant financial plan to raise money for making CDs. Yer Girlfriend raises $2000 in two months. Kat Williams designs jewelry for Yer Girlfriend in Esther’s likeness, and she donates half of her sales to the band fund.

March 2, 1991, Yer Girlfriend does for the third time a freebie for International Women’s Day at St. Williams. This marks Patty O.’s third anniversary with the band.

March 8-9, 1991, Weirdo Nights at the Metro. Band does first and last after-hours gig. Yuk.

March 15, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays at Antioch College (Yellow Springs, OH), produced by Laura’s friends Jon and Ricardo, catered by the wonderful WINDS.

March 23, 1991, another night at the Blue Moon. Packed house.

March 28-31, 1991, Gulf Coast 4^th Annual Women’s Fest. Yer Girlfriend plays Main Stage. Horriblest festival experience yet. Worst food, worst energy, worst women, worst gig of 1991. Blech!

March 28, 1991, deliver Yer Girlfriend tape to be made into CDs. Very excited.

April 1991, band meets 2 Nice Girls, goes to the National Lesbian Conference (in Atlanta) where they find anxiety and hostility in the Lesbian Community, but they manage to have fun, too. Maxine Feldman writes the band a very flattering letter granting them permission to record and/or perform her material. An article about the band comes out in Hot Wire.

April 6, 1991, Carol, Kathy, and Laura do a folksy gig for Bluegrass NOW in Lexington. Their first Holiday Inn gig, too. Pretty fun show.

April 13, 1991, Blue Moon. Great night!

April 19, 1991, open for 2 Nice Girls at Tewligan’s [see scan of review with pix]. Painfully reminded of how much we hate straight bars. Laura’s car gets wrecked. Great performance. 2 Nice Girls are hot, hot, hot. Great crowd.

April 20, 1991, Yer Girlfriend debuts at Details.

April 26, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays for the National Lesbian Conference in Atlanta. At least 1500 attend the dance at the Radisson ballroom.

May 5, 1991, the van has its first blowout, back right tire. Kathy and Sheila get to stay at the Days Inn in West Virginia.

May 17, 1991, sweltering night at the Blue Moon. Low attendance. Angie does sound. Turns out to be our last gig at the Blue Moon forever. Someone bought it and turned it into a bar for straights. Another chapter closed.

May 24, 1991, Open for Ellen James Society at Louisville Gardens. Very small crowd. We have a good gig, but have ugly boys run sound for us. Ruin sound for us. A quick $300 pays for new tires for the van. Stewie shows up in plaid pants with an antique camera.

June 1, 1991, Yer Girlfriend does the dance for the 16^th annual National Women’s Music Festival. There is a fantastic turnout and it’s a great gig. Laura goes to a workshop hosted by Lyn Bick and Ann Reed, about the music business, and her life is changed forever. [But Laura doesn’t remember it now.]

June 21, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays Celebration ’91 in New Orleans. The band is there from June 17-23. They are paid $120, plus $150 for dinner, plus four rooms at the luxurious Omni Hotel, and later, a nice apartment in the French Quarter, and then, at Louise’s house in the suburbs. They sell $400 worth of merchandise.

June 29, 1991, 5^th annual March for Justice. Yer Girlfriend plays short but powerful set for the pre-rally. Debut of Carol’s song “Dyketime.” 600 people attend. Carol and Laura lead the crowd in “Singing for Our Lives.”

June 30, 1991, Louisville’s first Floyd St. Pride Fair. The band plays in a heated tent, but it’s lots of fun. Carol’s song, “L-Word,” makes it onto Action 11 News [local TV station], and her song, “The Ballad of Kevin,” makes it onto [local TV station] 32 Alive.

July 13, 1991, Yer Girlfriend performs at Uncle Pleasant’s a second time. During a power failure, the band did “The Travelling Pre-Menstrual Show,” visiting each table and performing. Very successful show. Owners were pleased. Laura’s family was there, as was Sheila’s mom. [Sheila ran sound.]

July 26, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays in Madison, Wisconsin, to benefit the Woman’s Transit Authority. Jenny and Maureen join them and bring Deb Clem. The performance goes well until major sound technicalities intrude on the good time, causing much headache.

July 27, 1991, band arrives in Chicago, IL, frazzled and dirty, just like Chicago. There’s no time to warm up [rehearse and do a sound check] before the show. The hostess Mary is a butch motorcycle mama, and she’s handy with sound equipment although her garage is too small. The band plays for Mountain Moving Coffeehouse. It’s a very reserved crowd, but a decent performance. The band doesn’t make much money, and we wonder if it was worth it. Kathy is burning out. Angie Mattingly is hired as Road Manager. From now on, the producer must provide the sound equipment. Kathy is responsible only for equipment upkeep and accounting. Angie makes all travel arrangements. Sheila will possibly no longer travel with the band. New changes in direction for the band. Scary.

August 1991, although it was a dry month, good things did happen, especially close to the end of the month. Carol wrote her greatest rock composition ever, “Remain.” Angie does a great job of networking and getting the band work. Kathy writes her first banjo composition, “PMS Breakdown.”

August 5, 1991, Carol and Laura play to a numb crowd for Nagasaki Day in Cherokee Park. Oh well.

August 1, 1991, Yer Girlfriend once again at the dreaded Metro, but with the best turnout and performance yet.

August 24, 1991, Carol and Laura perform at a Ceremony of Civil Union in Lexington. Profitable and touching.

August 29-September 2, 1991, She-Wee does sound for Day Stage at Rhythmfest. Yer Girlfriend is there in spirit, and a few members go to absorb festival energy. They rent our equipment and we make more than before. Patty O and Laura go to great workshop by Kay Turner and Gretchen Philips. Plans begin to produce Girls in the Nose in Louisville, KY.

September 7, 1991, Yer Girlfriend does freebie for the Founders Day Picnic at Hopscotch House. Dull. Very dull.

September 14, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays the Connection [in Louisville] in the Viva Las Vegas showbar production. An incredible, high-powered night. Audience was obviously hungry for us, and vice versa. Benefit for the Open Door. Band is now out of debt.

September 21, 1991, Yer Girlfriend plays Gay-LA ’92 Indianapolis at the Hyatt [in Louisville]. Sound nightmare.

September 22, 1991, Carol and Laura do Take Back the Night in Lexington, KY. Really good gig.

October 5, 1991, Laura and Carol perform at a tribute to American Civil Rights activist Mattie Jones. It was an honor and a pleasure. Then off to DETAILS for a gig that turned out to be lots of fun.

October 12, 1991, Yer Girlfriend begins first day of recording their second album, L-Word Spoken Here at 2002 Studio in New Albany, IN. Saturday is hard, but Sunday is easier, and very productive. We completed recordings of “Take Another Step,” “Take Back Our Lives,” “Still Waters,” “Torn,” plus rhythm and vocal tracks for “L-Word.”

October 18, 1991, Yer Girlfriend performs double bill with Ann Reed at Kentucky Homefront for the second time. Fun concert, but lots of frustrating technical difficulties. Jerky sound man.

October 20, 1991, gig at coffeehouse in Lexington at Unitarian Church. Lots of fun. A raffle is held on our behalf, and it raises $235 as a donation to our recording efforts.

November 3, 1991, Yer Girlfriend begins second half of recording. Laid rhythm tracks for “Remain,” “Dyketime,” “Painfully True,” “Angry Atthis,” “PMS Breakdown.” “Remain” is totally kickass. Did not finish vocals.

November 9, 1991, gig at Uncle Pleasant’s. Strange night. Band is out of practice. Too many other things going on.

November 12, 1991, Carol, Laura, and Patty go into studio and finish recording for album. Spend 4 hours on “Dyketime.”

November 16, 1991, we play Milwaukee, Wisconsin, produced by Full Moon Productions and Brenda Dejong, who is a great producer. We do Frozen Custard at Leon’s and cruise the riverside. Successful gig. New level of musicianship achieved on “Love Me Like I Am.”

November 25, 26, 27, 1991, scheduled dates for mixdown of new album.

December 21, 1991, Yer Girlfriend does a benefit at the Connection for the Fairness Campaign and raises $1,114. It’s also a debut party for the new album, L-Word Spoken Here. We sell about 100 tapes.

December 31, 1991, New Year’s Eve at Uncle Pleasant’s. Great turnout considering competition with Jean’s annual party. Made shit for money [very little money] but we had a blast. Did “L-Word” percussive jam to prelude the midnight hour, and it created a lot of suspense and cheer. Everyone danced and made lots of noise.

1992

Waiting to hear about another grant from the Kentucky Foundation for Women, and to hear from the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival application for Main Stage, and to hear from Rhythmfest application for Main Stage.

January 1992, The Kentucky Foundation for Women grant comes through, but much less than requested, only $1,200. Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival rejects our Main Stage request. Maxine Feldman finally gets back in touch, but says the band owes her 7 cents per copy for the song “Angry Atthis,” and she’s excited about it. Band freaks out because they don’t have the proper copy on the tapes, nor were they knowledgeable about the whole copyright process. Maxine says cool out, and it all works out as usual. Laura begins pursuit of woman’s radio.

February 8, 1992, band plays Lexington and has the biggest crowd ever. They make the best gig money there, too, and have a great time and terrific sales. It’s a great party thrown by Athena Productions.

February 9, 1992, the band is broadcast on WFPL’s [local radio station] show Homefront, and “The L-Word” makes everybody nervous. Still a great show.

February 14, 1992, benefit for Artswatch at Rudyard Kipling’s [“the Rud”]. Sold out performance. Joy Knopfmeier debuts on the washboard. Laura’s car gets towed.

March 1, 1992, Phyllis and Kathy perform with Ellen Rosner and Camille Rocha and Londa Crenshaw at Uncle Pleasant’s to benefit Fairness [Campaign].

March 7, 1992, Freebie for International Women’s Day once more. Short little dance, but semi-fun. We’re awfully rusty. We get accepted for Rhythmfest ’92 Main Stage – can hardly wait!

March 15, 1992, Uncle Pleasant’s, as always. Smaller crowd, but lots of new faces. Did well on sales.

March 21, 1992, Carol and Laura perform for Sara’s wedding along with Stu-baby. Fun gig.

March 29, 1992, benefit for Louisville Youth Group at the Unitarian Church. It was an off night, but we had a good time.

April 3, 1992, Phyllis and Kathy join Ellen Rosner in Bloomington, Indiana, for backup, and to sneak a hug from Camille.

April 4, 1992, benefit for Fairness Campaign at St. Andrews Episcopal Church. Camille joins us for a night.

April 10, 1992, Uncle Pleasant’s. Great night. Lots of old songs and new faces.

April 11, 1992, Cindy and Carolyn’s Onion of Hearts. Great gig. Good pay and free beer.

April 22, 1992, WFPL [local radio station] gives the go-ahead for Laura’s radio show WomanWaves! [See scanned news clipping about the show. The show will play Sunday afternoons at 3:00, starting August 2.]

April 25, 1992, double bill with Girls in the Nose at the Connection. [See scanned flyer.] The place is packed. Fantastic concert. Deb and Patty O do best job at promotion. We raise $2,000 for Community Health Trust to benefit women with AIDS and their children. The only bad part was Patty O’s absence. Girls in the Nose was great. The performance is dedicated to her and to [her mother] Helen. Everyone danced, and there was a feeling of wildness in the air and on the floor. Girls in the Nose provided backup percussion on “Take Another Step,” “Under Skin,” and special effects on “L-Word,” which was its rowdiest version yet. Laura was the emcee.

April 26, 1992, 3:45 pm, Helen Poarch Barnette, Patty O’s mom, dies. Her suffering over, may she rest in peace. She will be greatly missed.

April 29, 1992, Helen’s funeral at Crescent Hill Baptist.

May 1, 1992, Uncle Pleasant’s for Derby Eve. We’re the first band of many this night. Our wonderful crowd is there always.

May 8, 1992, gig in Lexington, KY, at Coffee House. Smaller crowd than normal. Feels like it’s time to change our show.

May 9, 1992, Carol and Laura perform on courthouse steps for the Clothesline Project. Very moving experience for all involved. Also, it’s the day of Patty O’s book signing, A Garden of Words, at Hawley-Cooke’s. Many dykes show their support.

June 21, 1992, Gay Pride Picnic at the Water Tower. We do a really queer set, and everybody has a queertastic time.

June 27, 1992, Gay Day Parade. Louisville’s first parade in the streets, and oh, what a sight, high atop T.P., the van serving as a lookout for lots of media hounds wanting a great view of the marchers gloriously behind us. A thousand people come out for this, to end up at the Floyd Street Pride Fair, where we rock the house and have a great gig.

July 18, 1992, Uncle Pleasant’s is packed, and we make lots of money and have a swell time.

July 25, 1992, we play St. Louis. We get three hotel rooms, a catered meal, and lots of money, but still . . . The gig sucks. Right next door to us in the building within spitting distance plays Laura’s one-and-only goddess, Melissa Etheridge. Lesbians from the whole Show-Me state [Missouri] aren’t torn in the least about who they’d rather see that night. We were left with maybe 20 people in our audience, who stared out the window the entire evening trying to catch a glimpse of HER [that is, Melissa Etheridge].

July 26, 1992, we go see HER [that is, Melissa Etheridge] in Louisville.

August 2, 1992, Laura’s radio show WomanWaves starts on WFPL 89.3 FM [local radio station]. Many friends gather at Laura and Angie’s for its debut.

August 21, 1992, the band visits Milwaukee, Wisconsin, again, enjoys some frozen custard, performs at the Lake Park Pavillion, and spends lots of hours with Brenda Young. Oy vey.

August 24, 1992, Carol and Laura do a freebie for Fairness as the rally begins. Phyllis and Patty O join them. Deb is the first one to get a lottery ticket, and she is seen all over the news kissing Patty O.

August 25, 1992, the Fairness Amendment is voted on, finally, and the winner is… not us. Of course, we still had hope, and it still hurt. Carol and Laura sang anyway, and did their best.

August 29, 1992, the band plays post-Fairness at Uncle Pleasant’s. A great time is needed, and it shows.

September 4, 1992, not only Deb’s birthday, but the band performed at Rhythmfest, too. We get rained off of Main Stage, so they play at the Hip Sway Café instead. It works out because everybody gets to dance, and we have a blast. Girls in the Nose join the band on “L-Word!”  Phyllis does well and doesn’t even know it. Camille plays with us, too. We love Rhythmfest. The van throws a rod [serious engine problem].

September 19, 1992, We play Uncle Pleasant’s and we have a fantastic time!

[Note from interviewer Rose Norman: Laura says that the timeline for the end of 1992 and all of 1993 is lost. This period includes the second album and the change in band members.]

1994

March 5, 1994, Uncle Pleasant’s for International Women’s Day.

March 13, 1994, Fairness Opening at the new office. Carol and Laura perform a freebie and the have a really nice time.

April 3, 1994, Laura interviews Melissa Etheridge!  We all go to see her that night at Louisville Gardens.

April 23, 1994, Laura performs for a Catholic wedding. Unreal.

April 23, 1994 [same day as wedding], Benefit for Ken Herndon at Uncle Pleasant’s. Lousy gig.

May 6, 1994, Derby Eve Jam at Uncle Pleasant’s. Once again, they have no idea that we’re scheduled to play. Everything works out, and we pack the house. Kathy Weisbach and Leisha sit in. Short but fun gig. [Kathy had left the band in 1993.]

May 28, 1994, benefit for Gay Games Team Louisville at the Connection. We raise lots of money for them, plus have a really good gig. Not great, but good.

September 3, 1994, Rhythmfest #5. Decent set. Not best, not worst either. “Beautiful Soul” sounds great. Rainy and cold.

September 15, 1994, Laura hosts Minerva for women’s music workshop.

September 17, 1994, Homefront performance at Wyatt Hall, Bellermine College, for Homefront’s 10^th Anniversary. We are well received.

September 18, 1994, Laura and Carol perform for Lexington’s Take Back the Night.

September 25, 1994, band plays for the AIDS walk on the Belvedere.

December 31, 1994, New Year’s Eve at the Silo Brewery. Great gig. Kay’s first as our new manager.

1995

Overview: Kay Milam, the new band manager, celebrates one year with the band on New Year’s Eve. Lots has happened in that year. The band started playing at the Cherokee as a new venue. They do lots of unplugged gigs at the Rud [Rudyard Kipling] that become real crowd pleasers. Mark is the official sound guy. The goal is to make the best album ever called Never Again. Controversy takes place over the title, and it later becomes Not Afraid to Love. Phyllis finds Melody Hill to do the recording. Kay suggests the band do a demo first. Smart move, since the band later finds out it’s been recorded on dirty heads. Lawsuit ensues for Kelly Richey, who also records there. But the band continue with it since it’s a magical place, and they do great work there. Liz brings to the band recording angel Mary Blankemeier, who takes the band to new levels musically and spiritually. She oversees the project, along with her recording engineer Gantt Kushner, at Melody Hill. Lisa Cates becomes the newest member of Yer Girlfriend, providing new sound with percussion and adding soprano vocals.

February 4, 1995, gig at Rudyard’s. Place is packed. Kay gets introduced.

February 22, 1995, field trip to Melody Hill. It’s a winner, and the new album is taking its first step.

March 18, 1995, gig at Cherokee Pub. Phenomenal evening. Best sound ever. Best gig as new band ever. Best performance by Laura Shine ever, inspired by her new girlfriend, of course. Great turnout, too. Mark is now “Our Boyfriend,” and Kay becomes “Mama Girlfriend.”

March 28, 1995, Carol and Laura perform at Fairness Vote ’95, which lost, of course. But we had a great time and we jammed with the crowd. Carol was especially good and she was in her element.

April 4, 1995, Mary Blankemeier begins producing us after a visit to practice. Lisa sits in.

April 7, 8, 9, 1995, the most amazing recording experience takes place, with the inspiration from Mary, the expertise of Vince, and the beauty of Melody Hill studio. Cindy is the star of the session. She blows us all away. Everybody exceeds their limits, and we’re off and running to the best album ever. Lisa Cates becomes our newest member and girlfriend as percussionist. “Never Again,” “Your Eyes,” and “Time to Go” are now recorded and locked into immortality. We had the best bonding experience, too. Mary is a phenomenal force. Couldn’t have done it without her or Kay or anything else. It was perfect.

April 15, 1995, Our first unplugged gig, “because we can,” at Rudyard’s. Incredible turnout, incredible night. Lisa’s first gig as new member girlfriend.

May 13, 1995, gig at Cherokee with Kelly Richey. Sound sucks for us, but Kelly gets a great response.

May 28, 1995, Laura appears on Forbidden Fruit KFAI FM in Minneapolis, MN. Yer Girlfriend gets airplay.

June 10, 1995, Yer Girlfriend performs in Nashville at TPAC for an Evening of Pride, produced by Lesbian & Gay Pride Committee and nightmare bitch from Cluelessville, Jennifer Day. Laura and Carol bond again. On the way home, Kay and Laura see a tornado.

June 24, 1995, Yer Girlfriend at Cherokee for Pride Night ’95. Good turnout, great performance. “Fairness” debuts as percussive piece. Lisa plays the trap set [drum set] during “Get Over it!” Mark becomes father to Samuel Raymond, his new son. We decide to record “Beautiful Soul” with permission from Margie Adam.

June 26, 1995, Margie Adam calls Carol and gives the okay for “Beautiful Soul.” What an honor. She, too, is honored. Not to mention a great publicity move for us.

June 30, 1995, a retreat is planned for Hopscotch House. Mary attends.

July 1, 2, 1995, we get tons of work done. Funnest parts are the sit-down dinners and prayers. Carol debuts “Carry Me,” and we are all enchanted. Mary’s incredible once again. Wren treats us to a Fairy dance, and Liz provides sparklers. Phyllis wakes us up with the alarm, house alarm, that is. Whoop-whoop!  “Fairness” finally takes form as does “When I Find My Heart,” and especially “Get Over It.” It’s going be an awesome album.

July 8, 1995, Yer girlfriend’s first at Flashbacks. Better turnout than anticipated. Another bar to add to our repertoire of venues.

July 28, 29, 30, 31, 1995, four-day session at Melody Hill once again. Mary our Angel returns and inspires us to do our best and then some. She brings her recording engineer Gantt [Kushner] and his wife Judy. We record “Letting Go,” “Beautiful Soul,” “Wish I had a Love” on Friday. Saturday, the rhythm tracks for “XBlues,” “When I Find It Again,” “Get Over It,” “Carry Me,” and “Fairness.” Sunday, we do overdubs and instrumentals. Monday, all the vocals are completed. Each one of us has a nervous breakdown, but that’s because we all gave 110% of ourselves to this project. There’s not a single, solitary song that doesn’t shine on this CD. It’s an amazing experience, and Not Afraid to Love is ready to fly.

August 9, 10, and 11, 1995, Laura and Kay Milam [the band manager] go to Washington, D.C. for the mix [mixing the tape, a step in finishing the recording].

August 12, 1995, K and Laura return with Not Afraid to Love in tow. Carol is the first Louisvillian to hear it. Thumbs up!

September 6, 1995, gig at Rudyard’s UNPLUGGED – packed house and great audience. Felt more love from them than ever before. September 12, Edgar dies. [Edgar is Laura’s dog, a malamute.] “Cry You a Waterfall” is performed in his honor.

September 17, 1995, Carol and Laura do Take Back the Night in Lexington.

September 21, 1995, Freebie for 3^rd annual AIDS Walk at the Belvedere. Phyllis is on vacation. Lisa plays drums. Another soundmare.

Oct 12-16, 1995, Provincetown! Women’s Week in P-Town! [Provincetown, Massachusetts] Glorious gig at the Town Hall. Well attended and lots of sales. Donna and BJ drive the stuff. Good food, good friends, great town! Liz raps on the street and makes a new memory for us.

October 21, 1995, CD release party at Fairness Office. Sell over $800. Very pleased. Gig at Cherokee that night. Most varied audience and biggest audience yet. Carol can’t sing and is bummed. Great night anyway!

October 27, 1995, Carol and Laura sing for GLUE Benefit at 1^st Unitarian Church.

December 31, 1995, Gig at the Main Exchange for New Year’s Eve. Incredible, awesome, fantastic. Debut three new songs. Carol and Lisa do “Sisters.” Mary does the door. We turn away over 100 people due to full capacity.

1996

January 3, 1996, reviewed in Louisville Music News. Great review except they say the band is from Georgia. Well, that’s true for 1/6 of us.

February 17, 1996, Cherokee Club performance. Good crowd. Good gig.

March 2, 1996, Unplugged at Rudyard. The band has outgrown the venue, and people are pissed when they can’t get in. Don runs the sound and he does a great job. Tensions are mounting within the band. Is this our last performance?

We had some fun moments, extremely sad ones, hard ones, and lots of emotions. Kind of like the last eight years. I will always hold Yer Girlfriend’s memory close to my heart more than any relationship I’ve ever had. I grew more from this band than anything else. I will always love Yer Girlfriend. That’s why I’ve kept these scrapbooks: to preserve a part of history that will forever remain a part of the Louisville Gay & Lesbian Community. It was the best trip of my life.                                   

Blessed Be.
Laura Shine
Founder of Yer Girlfriend, 1996

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This interview has been edited for archiving by the interviewer and interviewee, close to the time of the interview. More recently, it has been edited and updated for posting on this website. Original interviews are archived at the Sallie Bingham Center for Women’s History and Culture in the David M. Rubenstein Rare Book and Manuscript Library at Duke University.

References

Doyle, J.D., “A Tribute to the Band Yer Girlfriend,” Queer Music Heritage, the Blog, a companion for the QMH and OutRadio shows and website, December 2012, http://queermusicheritage-theblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/tribute-to-band-yer-girlfriend.html

See also a medley compiled at, http://ptube.pk/watch/dYX0OMCTA6E/a-tribute-to-the-band-yer-girlfriend.html

Plays include: “We Won’t Be Silent,” “The Ballad of Kevin,” “She’s Not Somebody’s Wife,” “Take Another Step,” “Dyketime,” “L-Word,” “Lez B Bop” (from Family of Friends compilation), “Xtra Bedroom Blues,” and “Fairness.” This aired on Queer Music Heritage, January 2006.

Queer Music Heritage posted scanned images of liner notes for all three albums here: http://queermusicheritage.com/jan2006yg2.html

Mote-Yale, Marilyn “Lesbians.”  The Encyclopedia of Louisville. Ed. John E. Kleber. Lexington: University of Kentucky Press, 2001. Refers to River City Womyn and Yer Girlfriend, pp 507-508.

Sears, James T. “Breaking Silences.” Rebels, Rubyfruit, and Rhinestones. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 2001. See p 257 about River City Wimin.*

Williams, Kathie D. “Louisville’s Lesbian Feminist Union: A Study in Community Building,” Carryin’ On in the Lesbian and Gay South, ed. John Howard, New York:  New York University Press, 1997, pp 224-40. Williams’s U. of Louisville master’s thesis, 1995, he quotes Laura Shine about Yer Girlfriend (p 231) in the context of the earlier Louisville lesbian band, River City Wimmin (1974 to 1978).*

* [While the Encyclopedia of Louisville spells it ‘Womyn,’ (p 507) and various spellings have been used by other authors as noted above, the correct spelling used in documentation by the band members themselves is: River City Wimmin.]

“Yer Girlfriend Reunion Concert Benefits Davis-Putter,” held July 7, 2012, two shows at Uncle Slayton’s. “The band, Yer Girlfriend, reunited in celebration of 50 years of the Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund for Director Carol Kraemer’s 50th birthday. Over 200 people attended, and $7500 was raised to support Davis-Putter grantees and their work for social justice.”  http://www.davisputter.org/2012/04/28/yer-girlfriend-reunion-concert-benefits-davis-putter/